Grinded Gears

I typically try to personify the “if you got nothing nice to say…” philosophy, but there’s an issue that arose recently that really started to grind by gears, so I AM going to say it.

The issue is the Tim Thomas incident of a couple weeks ago, the one where he decided to play hooky rather than visit the President in the White House. I know he had a reason for his decision, one that would excuse his absence, but I vehemently disagree with the way he went about making such a strong political statement. Let me start with the timing. 2012 is an integral year for this country being that we are mired in a global economic crisis, surrounded by social uprising, and in the midst of one of the most polarizing elections in our lifetime. In his official statement made on his Facebook page, Thomas says,

                     "I believe the Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties,                           and Property of the People.

           This is being done at the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial level. This is in direct opposition                

           to the Constitution and the Founding Fathers’ vision for the Federal government.

           Because I believe this, today I exercised my right as a Free Citizen, and did not visit the White            House. This was not about politics or party, as in my opinion both parties are responsible for the

           situation we are in as a country. This was about a choice I had to make as an INDIVIDUAL.

                         This is the only public statement I will be making on this topic. TT"

If he is so concerned with the current political portrait, why is this the first anyone’s heard of such beliefs. Although I can’t consider myself a true hockey fan, I do follow sports more closely than most. Not once during Thomas’s tenure in Boston, and especially since his rise from obscurity, have I heard any political musings from the decorated goalie. I couldn’t tell you if he leaned left, right, or swung both ways. All of a sudden, at a team event, where he was only one of two players born in the U.S., he decides to make a civil inaction? Wouldn’t it make more sense to perform an action of community service that would shed some positive light on his and many other American’s beliefs? This comes off as whiny, selfish, and ignorant; three words I never would have used to describe Tim Thomas as recently as two weeks ago. He chose all of this while his team was sputtering into the All-Star Break on its worst stretch since the opening of the season.

Maybe he didn’t realize how big of a soap box he has been provided since winning Lord Stanley’s Cup? Bruins’ President, Cam Neely came out after the incident and made public the fact that the team had known about Thomas’s intentions for three months leading up to the visit. Obviously they discussed the potential fallout while trying to talk him out of it. I’m sure his teammates knew about it as well. I just find it hard to believe that Thomas would have willingly done this had he known how far he would fall from grace, but in this case is ignorance a valid excuse? His teammates were obviously affected by this. Some were more personally insulted than others, but there’s no doubt the decision was a distraction. "I don't agree with his political views but I'm not going to let this affect our team," one player said. Others were less supportive,

"As an organization we were honored by President Obama's invitation to the White House.

                It was a great day and a perfect way to cap our team's achievement from last season. It was a
                day that none of us will soon forget. We are disappointed that Tim chose not to join us, and
                his views certainly do not reflect those of the Jacobs family or the Bruins organization. This
                will be the last public comment from the Bruins organization on this subject."

            "I obviously disagree," said Bruins defenseman Andrew Ference. "I have a different viewpoint.

                I think this is a wonderful country. It's done so much for us, so I think that's why we were so               

                thrilled to go because we obviously have a different viewpoint”.

Clearly Thomas’ actions divided his team and created a disturbance that disrupted the flow of the hottest team in hockey. The effects were felt through all levels of the organization and shown a dark light on his legacy. More than most, I appreciate those who stand up against political oppression, but Thomas did it in a way I cannot agree with. Hopefully he will consider his timing and tact the next time he makes such a bold move. I will leave you with one more quote from another Bruin, one that I WOULD agree with,

"Everyone has their own point of view and that's the country as well, right? Just because you disagree               with or have a different viewpoint with somebody, it's not our job to look down and be harsh toward                  that person. It's their view, their choice. You can completely disagree with it, but in this country you                have to respect it."

A Living, Breathing, Walking Contradiction

Perception is a funny thing. Who's to say yours is right or wrong?

I'm a firm believer in the "new age" philosophy that the power to control our own reality is within one's own self, that destiny is not the same as fate. Our paths are not preconceived by a God or gods, but is our own responsibility to create. I've blogged about this before when discussing the narrative paradigm; the idea that we are all authors with the power to write our own stories. I referred to it as "new age", but this idea isn't new at all. Let me begin by asking a few questions about the "official" religion of the United States, Christianity...

Q: What language did Jesus speak?
A: Aramaic

Q: How many years after the death and Resurrection was the first Gospel written?
A: The Gospel of Mark was written in 70 AD, roughly 40 years and multiple generations later.

Q: How many languages were spoken during the time of Jesus and the time leading up to the writing of the Gospels?
A: At least 4; Aramaic, Hebrew, Greek, and Latin.

Q: How many times was the Bible re-written and/or translated since its original writing?
A: More than you'd feel comfortable with.

Q: Is it more than possible that some of the most important messages conveyed by Jesus were lost in translation?
A: You tell me.

Matthew, the first Gospel included in the New Testament chronicles the first teaching of Jesus as, "repent, for the Kingdom of God is coming soon". This message basically is the first pillar of Christianity, a belief system based on repentance, sorrow, confession, and penance in order to gain entry into heaven upon one's death. Now, what if this was not the lesson Jesus meant to teach? Isn't it at least possible that this message was translated incorrectly at least once? It's like the game of telephone; a message begins one way, goes in the ear and out the mouths of many who change the original meaning both accidentally and with agenda until the entire moral is changed in the end.
According to a former teacher of mine it's not just possible, but an absolute truth. I'm no linguist, but my teacher studied this excessively after a change of heart diverted him from the priesthood into a Buddhist seminary during his early twenties. He claims that if the Aramaic Jesus used during this teaching could have been translated as, "Change the way you think about reality, fear not, for the Kingdom of God is within you". This translation doesn't inspire repentance, but rather confidence in one's self. If this were true, than wouldn't the entire foundation of Christianity be misleading? I'm not about to pretend as if I have the answer, but I certainly prefer, and truly believe that Jesus would rather us create our own reality based on the idea that God is in all of us rather than the threat of his Father's wrath. Doesn't the former seem more consistent with the rest of the teachings of the man that performed miracles at weddings, fraternized with beggars and prostitutes, and stood up to the priests and rabbis that forced such guilt? I certainly do.

I tell you all of this because I've recently been faced with a fork in the road that is my life, a stunning plot twist that could bear significant weight on my future. I went from making decisions based on two to only doing so for one. I had spent the previous 3 years in a relationship worrying more about another being than I ever had in my entire existence. This sudden adjustment to my plan was super bittersweet. On one hand, my entire reality was shattered, but on the other, I now had the freedom to choose whatever the hell I wanted for myself. I went through the holidays dismally, but able to conjure the spirit of holidays past. I then was fortunate enough to go on two incredible trips. The first was to The West Village of Manhattan to see my longtime friend and college roommate the week leading up to New Years Eve.

It was the first time visiting him since he returned from London and one of the few times I've been able to travel back to NYC without an agenda. I spent my days enjoying delivery services while helping Steve ease the process of obtaining a new apartment. This turned out to be far more a chore than I had expected. Apartment hunting in the Bronx was a breeze and same for when I moved to Southie. Boston obviously isn't the same metropolis that Manhattan is,  and the demand for apartments far less great, but the documents that needed to be collected and the stress of trying to prove your worth in a city so boundless, were a dose of materiality I had not expected. After the chores were accomplished, we got a chance to play and we did so quite a bit. The best part about visiting New York City with someone who lives there is they know all the cool spots. One of my favorites, The Meatball Shop allows you the luxury of being able to  build your own high-end meatball subs. There's usually a huge line because it's very reasonably priced, the food is incredible, and the restaurant is tiny. On another excursion, we walked to Pier 17 for an outdoor lunch which was rare in late December, but the sun was just warm enough to allow us to eat in the open air and view the tall ships with the skyscraper backdrops. On our way home, we checked out the new 9/11 memorial building. I hadn't been to Ground Zero since just after the attacks, so it was amazing to see the progress that's been made. Of course at night, we met up with friends, shared some drinks and laughs, and did the usual. I would happily sacrifice a month full of partying in Boston for one weekend in New York, it simply doesn't compare. I definitely felt a bit of remorse for leaving such a great place so quickly after graduation, but the nostalgia tends to wear off after too much time spent in The Big Bad City. A four day trip wasn't enough though, and I left on New Years Eve begrudgingly as everyone was gearing up for the celebration.

My most recent trip, taken only 2 weeks after I returned from New York was to another Village and a much different event. My brother and I had planned to visit his friend in Vail, Colorado for the long weekend provided to us by the sacrifices of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. It was a skiing/snowboarding trip, and we were accompanied by our cousin, Jimmy, and three of my brother's closest friends. We landed in Denver around noon on Friday, rented a car, and were in the heart of the Rocky Mountains, crossing the Continental Divide into Vail Valley only 2 hours later. Our condo was nestled tightly outside of Vail Village, but right on the free shuttle route. It was their driest winter in over 30 years, but we were lucky enough to get some snow just before our arrival and before our departure. We spent our days riding the vast terrain and challenging glades, challenging ourselves on jumps and boxes like we belonged there. By night, we got to the usual, hitting the local taverns and clubs that make Vail such a haven for outdoors men and adventurers from all over the world. If I could dream up the perfect ski resort, Vail with its heated roads and sidewalks, shops, restaurants, and apres ski activities is certainly it. What's even better about are the people that inhabit it. Travelers from all walks of life and throughout the globe are comprise a unique bond you don't find in many other places. Everyone there, locals and outsiders alike, are all on the same page; to enjoy the beauty and challenges of nature.

I had an amazing time on both trips, but I couldn't help but notice a discernible dichotomy between the two places, one that was also growing within myself. Although the personal requirements (ambition, energy, moxie) that exist in those people that succeed in these places are quite common to one another, you rarely find someone that has chosen to live in both. Life is simply too short to be able to thrive in both environments, most of the time not even in one. New York City is full of somebodies; people that have earned their success through hard work, perseverance, and creativity, and others who were handed down success through trust funds or financial security. It is certainly not the place I would want to live in without the pocket or plan. Being there conjured up a feeling of pragmatism within me, the inspiration to build on my new entrepreneurial skills, and to enterprise even further. I wanted to get my own apartment in the Village or Tribeca, run into celebrities, wear suits to parties, and talk about the new restaurants I had "discovered". I left thinking that would be my next move in life. It gave me something to strive for. Then I went to Vail where I was inspired in a completely different way. Maybe it has something to do with being in the mountains, but there I reconnected with my spirituality. Nature is the polar opposite of man-made, and I welcomed the fresh air and vast landscape without hesitation. The people I met were more whimsical, creative, unique, and odd; all qualities I see in myself. They were coming from extended stays in Argentina, Australia, and Western Africa. They simply didn't live by the "rules". Words can't describe how much I admire that. I left Colorado even more confused than when I had arrived, and the division within me had gotten even wider.

I have always lived my life without plan, hoping that obscure "signs" would lead me to the next move just as long as I kept my eyes open. I see myself like a river, twisting and turning through life, dictated by the opportunities that I encounter. Maybe this is my problem. Maybe that is what has led to all this uncertainty. So I go back to Jesus' original message. I think I need to choose the reality I see best fit for me, not the one that I think will make the most people happy, or the one that will make my family the most proud, but the one that fits the best for what I want out of life. All to often people give up on their dreams because something else comes along that seems safer or more secure. I'll be damned if that happens to me. This is what makes 2012 such a big year for me, and I hope the best for you in your own personal journey.

Hip to be Square

I was flipping through the channels last night looking for a Christmas movie to get myself in the holiday spirit. Much to my delight, I came across “American Psycho” on IFC. It wasn’t exactly what I was looking for, but the first scene I caught was of Christian Bale and Reese Witherspoon wearing 80s Christmas sweaters sipping cocktails at a Christmas party, so I decided to keep it on. Soon after, I was enthralled, as I usually am with this movie. I’m not sure if it’s Bale’s impeccable portrayal of Patrick Bateman or the adapted voice of Brett Easton Ellis’s witty dialogue, but every time I see it on TV, I have to watch. A few scenes later I was able to catch Bateman and his rival Paul Allen sitting in an empty apartment listening to Huey Lewis and the News. In the scene, Patrick explains to Paul Huey’s undisputed masterpiece, “Hip to be Square”. He describes it as “a song so catchy that people probably don’t listen to the lyrics but they probably should, because it’s not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trend, it’s also a personal statement about the bandit self”. Well, today I looked up those lyrics:

I used to be a renegade, I used to fool around
But I couldn't take the punishment, and had to settle down
Now I'm playing it real straight, and yes I cut my hair
You might think I'm crazy, but I don't even care
Because I can tell what's going on
It's hip to be square

I like my bands in business suits, I watch them on TV
I'm working out 'most everyday and watching what I eat
They tell me that it's good for me, but I don't even care
I know that it's crazy
I know that it's nowhere
But there is no denying that
It's hip to be square

It's not too hard to figure out, you see it everyday
And those that were the farthest out have gone the other way
You see them on the freeway, It don't look like a lot of fun
But don't you try to fight it; "An idea who's time has come."

Don't tell me that I'm crazy
Don't tell me I'm nowhere
Take it from me
It's hip to be square

It’s funny I should come across this thought this week as I have been grappling over the issue of conformity. For better or worse, I’ve always carried myself with a sense of pride over my alternative look and lifestyle. I have made an earnest effort to balance this rebel appearance in the conformist world of teaching and now business. I have let my hair grow longer than ever as if to say, “I know I may act within the rules, but I don’t need to look like everyone else while doing it. The problem is that I think it conveys the wrong idea about me. I work extra hard to articulate myself to customers and others to make them think twice about judging people based on appearances alone, but I don’t know why I feel the need to make such a statement. The hair thing has been a funny experiment actually. I’ve been called a hippie, and been mistaken for an Occupy Boston participant to my face, and I can only imagine what people say behind my back. The truth is that I don’t really care what people think, but the question I ask myself is whether this is hurting or helping my business. Would people rather buy a rug from a long-haired hippie or a suited salesman? It’s funny that the length of a man’s hair has been part of our conditioning as Americans and as human beings. I coach a youth basketball team and the reaction I have received in terms of my appearance has been overwhelmingly negative. I’m no different than I was with short hair, but I am looked at as if I am so. I don’t know if it’s the look that brings the insults or just the change, but the old cliché “don’t judge a book by its cover” certainly isn’t being applied. Anyway, the experiment ends today as I am getting it cut in an hour. My feeling is that there is nothing better than a fresh cut, and I look forward to going into the new year with a clean slate. I’ll be curious to see if by going square I’ll be treated any differently, and if the rest of me will follow in conformity. I hope not.